Hi peeps...
Its already 4.07am and I'm still wide awake...with this post in process...
I'm listening to Kris Dayanti's Mencintaimu and oh God....I just love this song..
For you readers and followers who never got to see the other side of my soul, this is me.. I guess I don't show much of myself to people that much and that earned me the title of the silent one of the class. I think I'm on par with some other dude and gals that believe of the 'Silence is gold' phrase. Haha! I don't mind much of that. Its just that sometime when my mood swings to the wrong direction, I may burst out refuting to those statements.
Damn~~~
What I wanted to type isn't that. I got distracted again with this Guns n Roses' song. November Rain is still faaaar way. I guess I got winded up with these turmoils of feelings and thoughts.
I already recovered from the breakup but still I don't think I got past it 100%. I always have that trouble. I got this all sorts of fear and I hate it.
I'm missing someone...so much that my heart ache and I felt like all the joy in this world has been robbed from me. Now the long awaited Saturday and Sunday suddenly lost its meaning to me. God I miss her....
Oh shit! Here come Alicia Keys...If I ain't got u....Damn~~~its a superb song to amplify this feelings! Now the pain seems to be more intense.
I guess that what will happen when ur in love rite? I remember a person pasted this on the FB wall sometime ago referring to not making hasty decision to choose another person as the ultimatum while u urself are just an option to them. I was so grateful to have read that among hundreds of posts in that time.
That is one of the drive that lead me to send the breakup vow to the last gf I had. She lied to me, used me and I was (probably)among the options she have. So what to do rite?
Anyway past is past and I moved on. So now I'm having a complicated relationship with this one sweet girl that were so honest to me. Even what she told me sumtime hurts me, I ain't gonna hate her for that cause she just doing what i wanted her to do....being honest...I have that tendency to simplify things and so i developed a habit of saying truth and expecting truth from others also..even if it hurts me. That's why sumtimes I just can't help myself from respecting peoples that I trust and love. So yeah...I'm believing in her and never try to distrust her. She's one of my friends but she more than them to me. She's a special person...yeah...she will always be even if we weren't be able to be together..
And then come this Maroon 5 song..Never gonna leave this bed. Damn~~can I sing this song in this morning when I'm slumping on my bed? Really wish I could...
There are tons of things I've been thinking and worrying and trying to solve it.
But I guess I'll continue to worry it tomorrow.
I'm getting sleepy and my eyes is begging me to shut them and my body yearns for that sweet pillow and blankets to lay on...
So peeps, we'll meet again when I got my mood and ideas to post things again.
Imma go to bed with this Ne-yo song...one in a million.
Mmmuahh! Gudnite and sweet dreams to y'all. Its 4.44am.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Responsibility and Maturity.
Two things that I think everybody should have.
Don't turn back on your promises.
Don't let others bear your the burden.
Understand and remember.
Responsibility over others is just as important as reponsibility over yourself.
Others care for u.
So think before you speak.
For thinking is the way to maturity.
So think about your own responsibilities.
Don't drag others if you want to fall alone.
We're striving for to get higher.
Not lower.
Okay?
Don't turn back on your promises.
Don't let others bear your the burden.
Understand and remember.
Responsibility over others is just as important as reponsibility over yourself.
Others care for u.
So think before you speak.
For thinking is the way to maturity.
So think about your own responsibilities.
Don't drag others if you want to fall alone.
We're striving for to get higher.
Not lower.
Okay?
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
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Sunday, February 20, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Different Views on the Men vs Boy.
I wanna laugh as hard as I can just a while ago. I posted sumthing that I read a few years back while I was reading some mags at Klang.
It sumthing about boys and mens and womens. Pretty hard to understand bout the meanings that were hidden between the lines back then but rite now, I think I got a firm grasp on what it meant.
I posted in FB saying..
'Yeah. They say men will always be boy. If that's so, why won't u take care of ur men? Boys wil run away when u don't give them attention. So beware. U might end up as the one left by these 'boys'.
Then a few minutes past by and here's a reply by some dude...
'man will stay, boy will left'.
comments..
'That's why we want Men..! Not boy..wuahahahahha XD'
'you will :)'
Hehehe. I wanna laugh at this.
Of course every girl would want a man and not a boy! They ain't grown to be a woman yet. A woman in the other hand, when they matured they will search back the 'boy' inside their man.
I ain't tellin' lies. As far as what I can see, that's the norm I saw.
Okay back again at the equation.
A man of course will search for a woman. Yeah. Cannot deny that rite? But there will be no man who wouldn't have boys inside themselves even when they have gron into a man. Cannot remember where I read this, but yeah, Boys will always be boys. So a 'Man' itself ain't guaranteeing a succesful relationship.
So 'boys pretending to be a man' can shut the fuck up and suck upon their own dicks cause pretending to be a man will never get them the honor of a man.
They are the kind who wishes to be a man, long for the title but it ain't comin' out easy dude.
So read it carefully and [hopefully, u'll got your chance to be a man, since living under your parent's armpit will never get that for u] think before u type ur thoughts in it. For many greens, ur rite. But for the vets, ur wrong.
And yeah. For the girls, liking something that you ain't understand will only make u as a fool. No matter how how pretty you are or rich, u ain't gonna make people respect you for that. Sucka!
It sumthing about boys and mens and womens. Pretty hard to understand bout the meanings that were hidden between the lines back then but rite now, I think I got a firm grasp on what it meant.
I posted in FB saying..
'Yeah. They say men will always be boy. If that's so, why won't u take care of ur men? Boys wil run away when u don't give them attention. So beware. U might end up as the one left by these 'boys'.
Then a few minutes past by and here's a reply by some dude...
'man will stay, boy will left'.
comments..
'That's why we want Men..! Not boy..wuahahahahha XD'
'you will :)'
Hehehe. I wanna laugh at this.
Of course every girl would want a man and not a boy! They ain't grown to be a woman yet. A woman in the other hand, when they matured they will search back the 'boy' inside their man.
I ain't tellin' lies. As far as what I can see, that's the norm I saw.
Okay back again at the equation.
A man of course will search for a woman. Yeah. Cannot deny that rite? But there will be no man who wouldn't have boys inside themselves even when they have gron into a man. Cannot remember where I read this, but yeah, Boys will always be boys. So a 'Man' itself ain't guaranteeing a succesful relationship.
So 'boys pretending to be a man' can shut the fuck up and suck upon their own dicks cause pretending to be a man will never get them the honor of a man.
They are the kind who wishes to be a man, long for the title but it ain't comin' out easy dude.
So read it carefully and [hopefully, u'll got your chance to be a man, since living under your parent's armpit will never get that for u] think before u type ur thoughts in it. For many greens, ur rite. But for the vets, ur wrong.
And yeah. For the girls, liking something that you ain't understand will only make u as a fool. No matter how how pretty you are or rich, u ain't gonna make people respect you for that. Sucka!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Troubled heart and raging emotions.
Hi. Long time no see people. I was hooked up with my study and all sorts of things that steal away my time. Its kinda hard when you cannot manage time and situations. Losing control over myself is the greatest weakness I've done right now.
A lot of things happened and boy I'm so stressed with everything to gamble.
Its kinda hard when someone who was supposed to be there for you didn't make it. My birthday was a fail epic. Valentine day was the worst. What more can I hope from a woman who I pledge myself to when she ignored me and didn't care for me? I was a fool to believe that gifts and calls and sms can strengthen our relationship. I think I did my part of the deal and sacrifice quite of things until last week.
Unappreciated and worthless. That what I felt. It damaged me not only on my study but my health too. Even if this relationship was only a few months old, I was treating it like it was going to be forever. Turn out to be like it was just a fleeting dream. I've been giving my devotion to nothing.
I cannot stand it when I feel like I was betrayed. What more when someone who I trust and love so much? That would break me into pieces.
I called her last night with rage and sadness inside my heart. Our conversation didn't end good. But there's something more... I didn't tell her what has happened during these times..
I got my feelings and attention to someone else...
She came when I was nearing my limits... I could say she saved me from falling rock bottom... then she gave me strength and nurture me back to my feet...
Then the next thing I knew, I was all over her...
I kept thinking of her... I can't resist myself from texting her, calling her....
I felt like the void inside me which was done by my woman was filled by her.
My day was lightened by her. My night now warmed by her.
But somehow I felt like I'm cheating on my woman....though I doubt that I her 'Man' anymore... This emotions is killing me inside..
I can't deny that I'm losing my feelings to my woman but I also cannot deny how I really feel pain whenever I see her name, her face, her voice...
I thinking of breaking her up...but I cannot do that..I'm tied with my promise to her.....
When I promised to someone...I couldn't go against the promise...
That is why this affair is killing me inside....
Its hard to love two women at the same time right....
A lot of things happened and boy I'm so stressed with everything to gamble.
Its kinda hard when someone who was supposed to be there for you didn't make it. My birthday was a fail epic. Valentine day was the worst. What more can I hope from a woman who I pledge myself to when she ignored me and didn't care for me? I was a fool to believe that gifts and calls and sms can strengthen our relationship. I think I did my part of the deal and sacrifice quite of things until last week.
Unappreciated and worthless. That what I felt. It damaged me not only on my study but my health too. Even if this relationship was only a few months old, I was treating it like it was going to be forever. Turn out to be like it was just a fleeting dream. I've been giving my devotion to nothing.
I cannot stand it when I feel like I was betrayed. What more when someone who I trust and love so much? That would break me into pieces.
I called her last night with rage and sadness inside my heart. Our conversation didn't end good. But there's something more... I didn't tell her what has happened during these times..
I got my feelings and attention to someone else...
She came when I was nearing my limits... I could say she saved me from falling rock bottom... then she gave me strength and nurture me back to my feet...
Then the next thing I knew, I was all over her...
I kept thinking of her... I can't resist myself from texting her, calling her....
I felt like the void inside me which was done by my woman was filled by her.
My day was lightened by her. My night now warmed by her.
But somehow I felt like I'm cheating on my woman....though I doubt that I her 'Man' anymore... This emotions is killing me inside..
I can't deny that I'm losing my feelings to my woman but I also cannot deny how I really feel pain whenever I see her name, her face, her voice...
I thinking of breaking her up...but I cannot do that..I'm tied with my promise to her.....
When I promised to someone...I couldn't go against the promise...
That is why this affair is killing me inside....
Its hard to love two women at the same time right....
Saturday, January 1, 2011
GoodBye 2010 and Welcome 2011
Hey! Howdy? Happy New Year to you all! Its 1st of Jan and hopefully all of you have the best of 2010 and May you all will receive the best of 2011. This New Year marks new targets to achieve and hurdles to overcome. I ain’t gonna back down to that and surely I’ll do my best for it.
2010 has been the year that is really taught me well of not underestimating people and the importance of having good team in everything that I do. I failed to make a good use of the time I had and I proudly confessed that I got what I deserved. It wasn’t good but it was a good reminder for my worn out spirit. Luckily this worn out spirit was renewed anew and new responsibilities emerged with it. So I think this will be the addition of my reasons to fight on. I’ll have to steel my heart and strengthen my resolve along with my determination.
So I wish you all who read this post will have t2010he heart and guts to do what you have to do. Life is short and time will always flies away. Don’t let it goes to waste.
2010 has been the year that is really taught me well of not underestimating people and the importance of having good team in everything that I do. I failed to make a good use of the time I had and I proudly confessed that I got what I deserved. It wasn’t good but it was a good reminder for my worn out spirit. Luckily this worn out spirit was renewed anew and new responsibilities emerged with it. So I think this will be the addition of my reasons to fight on. I’ll have to steel my heart and strengthen my resolve along with my determination.
So I wish you all who read this post will have t2010he heart and guts to do what you have to do. Life is short and time will always flies away. Don’t let it goes to waste.
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