Troubled heart and raging emotions.

Hi. Long time no see people. I was hooked up with my study and all sorts of things that steal away my time. Its kinda hard when you cannot manage time and situations. Losing control over myself is the greatest weakness I've done right now.

A lot of things happened and boy I'm so stressed with everything to gamble.

Its kinda hard when someone who was supposed to be there for you didn't make it. My birthday was a fail epic. Valentine day was the worst. What more can I hope from a woman who I pledge myself to when she ignored me and didn't care for me? I was a fool to believe that gifts and calls and sms can strengthen our relationship. I think I did my part of the deal and sacrifice quite of things until last week.

Unappreciated and worthless. That what I felt. It damaged me not only on my study but my health too. Even if this relationship was only a few months old, I was treating it like it was going to be forever. Turn out to be like it was just a fleeting dream. I've been giving my devotion to nothing.

I cannot stand it when I feel like I was betrayed. What more when someone who I trust and love so much? That would break me into pieces.

I called her last night with rage and sadness inside my heart. Our conversation didn't end good. But there's something more... I didn't tell her what has happened during these times..

I got my feelings and attention to someone else...

She came when I was nearing my limits... I could say she saved me from falling rock bottom... then she gave me strength and nurture me back to my feet...
Then the next thing I knew, I was all over her...
I kept thinking of her... I can't resist myself from texting her, calling her....
I felt like the void inside me which was done by my woman was filled by her.
My day was lightened by her. My night now warmed by her.

But somehow I felt like I'm cheating on my woman....though I doubt that I her 'Man' anymore... This emotions is killing me inside..
I can't deny that I'm losing my feelings to my woman but I also cannot deny how I really feel pain whenever I see her name, her face, her voice...

I thinking of breaking her up...but I cannot do that..I'm tied with my promise to her.....
When I promised to someone...I couldn't go against the promise...
That is why this affair is killing me inside....


Its hard to love two women at the same time right....