Monday, November 28, 2011

Always Be A Gamer.

Hey. Whadda'ya think about a guy who loves to play games?
I bet ladies would frown and gave facepalm if their man were avid gamers.
Don't hate them for that. We guys will indulge in gaming even when we're 80s.
Though the games we play might be different in terms of genres and situation, we will still be play it on.
My friend told me he got Diablo II: Lord of Destruction installer. Hell, I've been searchin for it like forever. It was one of the all time favret game for me and I'm looking forward to install it in my lappy. Damn!
Already going 28 and I still going to be a gamer.

Sunday, November 27, 2011


I love my dear darling. Truly. But distance which were invisible at the first place began to make things seems so far away and sometimes, makes the effort seems pointless.
I love you so much. Yes. But things are getting so much more complicated and we are lost again and again in this weak connection that we have rite now.
I'm tired of being the one who are making effort.
Is it too much to ask for several msgs or calls in a week?
I dunno. I doesn't rant about it so often, but its getting worse.
Hell. I love you dear.
But I realize that I'm becoming the Nitro again.
Don't let me go into that state. Please.
Understand and lets us fall in love again.
Like the first time we do it.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

It's Done

Yesterday I went to take my supplementary exam and so far, I feel I got a good chance to succeed that paper. It was very pressuring me to prepare for the exam and hell, I still got doubts that if I can pass the paper with good expectation. But yeah, it's done and I wanna give me self some good relaxing time. Out for now. Daaaa~~~

Sunday, November 13, 2011

True Revelation Hurts

It's been a month. Such a long time. No ideas. Just thoughts that played inside my mind and my heart.
Got my result and hell! I failed a subject. There's no use for me to rant about unfairness or anything anymore. I just wanna focus to get through this supplementary exam. During m time at home, I've been given many revelations of the actions and talks behind my backs.
Some of my friends, they stabbed me in the back. Quite depressing. But still, I can smile and laugh cause those who were true friends was still being my faithful friends.
I'm proud of that.
But yeah, I'm empty inside, aside from the facts and info that I crammed inside my head so that I can pass this final hurdle.
If God's willing, I'll see you guys next year again.
God bless u all.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Far from Perfect, Closer to Imperfect.

Hey. Whaddup? I'm sorry fellas. Its been a long time since I updated this section of my favret online sites. It took me so long to figure out what I wanted to say and yeah, it took a hell of time. Damn straight it is.

They say that when you conquered your goals or outlast your torment, you will be lost in your disappointment later. Why? Because when you are at the top, you will see everything but you'll be lonely and without any purpose or goals anymore.
I guess its true to certain extent. I really feel that I lost something to fight for.
The other guys have already left for their home and I too, will leave for home today.

I'm gonna miss this place and those people that I am very closed to. Those friends who cried and laugh in the times of up and down. Being at this moment, feels like I want to cry. Haha. Sounds sissy but that's what I'm feeling rite now.

I wanted to say more but I'm gonna keep it up inside my mind a lil bit longer. When I'm back at home, I'll post more.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Somebody help meeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It hurtssss!!

Hye peeps. Long time no post from me since I got this new lappy. Yeah. I got hooked with this new WIFE again. [….seriously I love to stress that ‘wife’….] Things aren’t that good though. I got myself sick from some unknown reason. My left ear is numb and hurts like hell. Same goes for my jaw on the left side. Shit. I can’t open my mouth to laugh hard and it’s sickening when I couldn’t close my mouth properly. I’ve been raging with this pain and its driving me mad. I tell y’all man. I really want to stab my eardrum with this needle and scissors.
My exam will start soon but still I can’t find my mood to study. Shucks!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

.Evil Me.

Everything as it is rite now is going downhill and I guess all those bad things are caused by me. I try my best not to hurt anyone but since I am as evil and bad as they said, then yeah. I'll be the evil me.
Enough said.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Finally....New Lappy!

A month without my own lappy and now I got a new one!
Ada bini baru suda~~ Hehehe~~~

Friday, August 12, 2011

To Love Is To Suffer

I can't say much of things for the time being. Yeah, I read a great deal of people's thoughts. For sure after reading much of those posts, I can't say much because I gotta make the best for me. I'm forfeiting myself of any chances to be happy in order to secure my future.
Can y'all understand that? I'm trying hard not make any of u feel bad from my actions. Really. But what can I say apart from this, 'To love is to suffer'.
While I'm laying low without much of any posts for y'all to see, that doesn't mean that I forgot of y'all. I always carry y'all within my thoughts.
So if any of u are done with me, then I understand. Who am I to defend myself from accusations and sarcasms that breaks my heart so much?
But nonetheless, I pray that life will give y'all the best of things that everybody wants.
Love y'all.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Single With No Interest.

I'm single and I prefer it that way. I still haven't been able to overcome my feeling for that particular 'Lady in Black'. Until I can get past this feeling, I'm gonna remain single.
I can be a friend but not a lover this time.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Hector Riez Guevara~~> Saya Pinjam Entry Kamu Sebab Saya Keboringan

Main tag demi membunuh kebosanan. Layan!

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Mungkin. Slalu love2 gini tu x kekal lama. Umpama angin.

2. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Yang ada kopi sedap free dgn waitress lawa cam Maria Ozawa.

3. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Start everything again tanpa kehilangan memori. Baru senang mo cheat kehidupan!

4. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Saya belajar sains tym smk. So kalo mendung lepas hujan, nda kan pla bole nampak rainbow?

5. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
1st, bagi-bagi sama family sendiri.
2nd, buka bisnes restoran macam-macam ada.
3rd, melancong pi Jepun. Mo beli kimono dgn katana jepun.
4th, sy pikir dulu ya?

6. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Mungkin. Kalo saya rasa mau saya cakap. Kalo x, minta maaf lah. Malas buang tenaga.

7. Who are the top five people in the world you would wish to meet?
Mark Zuckerberg. Saya mau tampar dia sbb chatbox fb teruk gila.
Tun Dr M. Saya nak sembang-sembang sepetang smbil minum-minum kopi Starbak.
Eichiro Oda. Mo blajar lukis manga sama dia.
Bakal bini. Tingu lawa ka nda dia tu.
Pikir dulu. Tengah Blank ne.

8. Which type of cars I love the most?
Yang macam transformers. Bole kencing orang.

9. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

10. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Peh! Ko tanya sama orang miskin.

11. What kind of electronic device/gadget you own that you like most?
Laptop Acer yang sudah hangus motherboard dia.

12. Are you in love?
X taw pla. Saya harap-harap iyalah.

13. If given a chance, do you want to see your future?
Susah soalan ne... Mau ka nda... Mau ka Nda... Mau ka nda...

Blank mo tag sepa. Berrrrrr......

[Hector, thanks for the entry ar. Makin blank lepas jawab ne soalan-soalan]

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Butterflies Inside My Stomach

They say butterflies lived for a brief of time.

I guess it was true.

My butterflies have flown away.

All that left is the grumbling of my starving stomach.

I think I'm gonna have a shower to let it calm down.

Then I'll go and buy my food.

I'm done with maggies for this week.


Thursday, July 28, 2011

24 Hours of Isnaps.

Last Nite-Pranking nite. Malam Isnap-isnap.
Morning-Staring Jeling-jeling. Isnap lagi.
Noon-Mengisnap di FB lagi.
Evening-Tidur sebab hujan. Dalam mimpi kena isnap kawan-kawan lagi.
Midnite-Tingu kawan-kawan mengisnap di FB lagi.
Sekarang-Muak sudah dengan isnap-isnap.

Btw, Cian student perempuan kena fire drill malam-malam.
Banyak suda yang marah-marah dalam FB.
Teringat pula perhimpunan Bersih tu ari.
Rasa-rasa kami lagi kena bisuk.
Bagus tidur.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

I can't believe this.

I should feel happy when I'm home but I ain't feelin' it.
Sads me so much when everybody was shouting and cursing and yelling at each other.
I can't believe this. Every holiday was filled with craps like this.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Good Things Never Last....

Good things will never last. But so do bad things too.
Some people have asked me so many times why I gotta stay single and mourn on my loss. Well...I ain't mourning for the loss. Its just that I'm pre-occupied with things that are more important. Plus, I can't forget things easily.
Yeah..I do feel lonely and sometimes I feel like dying due to the pain whenever I am reminded to past events and romances. But that's just life. Even if I'm all alone, I gotta stay strong and supress those feelings. I still have a lot to learn and experience. So why bother bout that rite?
So even if good things have already gone and lost, I'm gonna make the best of it and turn it into a good thing.
Peeps. I'm done for the moment.
If u have a moment to ponder bout life, then I hope u'll remember my words too.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Hell of a ride!

Up and down with these craps and shits.
Dunno when will I stop making fool of myself.

Monday, July 4, 2011


She so cool to look at.
To adore.
To admire.
To wonder.
She occupied most of my thoughts lately.
That's just that.
She's so out of my reach.
So I'll just suppress this feeling so that I'll be gone like the wind.
I'm not ready for another chapter.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Stormy Evening.

It's been quite some time for me to think of what I wanted to post. But my mind strayed here and there and none of the things I have now seems worth to say. Everything is just the daily routine and my heart didn't have any issues.
Maybe its because of the impartiality and indifferent attitude that I developed.
Maybe its because the weather always influenced my mind.
Maybe its because I am feeling lonesome.
Current issues and events doesn't occupy my head.
What I care is not around anymore and I'm sorry, I just can't muster my body to follow logic for the time being.
I guess I need to do something new.
Meet up someone new.
Involved in new things.
Maybe I'll do it after the storm chilled us.
Or maybe tomorrow when the sun is burning us.
I don't know.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I'm being a bit selfish here~~~

Hi. Whazzup peeps? Still up like me? Its 3.50am on my clock. I’ve been keeping up since yesterday’s noon. I should feel tired and sleepy. I am. But since I really cannot find the reason to sleep early, I just stay up and fill down this empty page and turn it to something that you can enjoy to read. Be it good or bad, I can’t complain cause what I’m typing here is my rants bout what I feel and forgive me if it’s crude, brash and probably isn’t suited to your taste. But hey, that’s just me. The me who aren’t wearing my masks that I wear to confront you all in our daily interaction.
I’m listening to the Scott Pilgrim’s ost~~>By your side. I already played it so many times but still…it never fails to cheer me up and mellow up my heart…. It was just a sweet song… I dunno who covered this song but since I enjoy listening to it so much, I just add it to my playlist and have good times enjoying it. The original track was actually performed by Sadie and that was probably made in the 90s. It’s a great song. Perfect for couples to reminiscence of what an ‘unconditional love’ is. Hehe.
Anyway, I wonder how have I been to you readers’ eyes? Have I give y’all good times reading my posts or I just made y’all even more bored reading my posts?
Tell me bout your opinion on me. I’m very interested in knowing it. Be it good or bad I always welcome opinions cause that way I can do check and balance between the me(s) that dwells inside my soul. Haha!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Enigmatic Holiday. Burghhh!!

Hye peeps. Huh…been a lil disappointed when I got back home. It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be. Damn…I just feel down already thinking that I’ll be spending the next few weeks doing things that I don’t really want to. Huhuh.
Today has been a day that really makes me sad and guilty. I got a txt from a dear friend telling me that her husband died…she’s trying to recover but I know that it’ll be hard… I feel so sad because I was so close to her before I purposely avoid calling her and texting her… I feel so sad… and then one of my dearest ex came with her husband… I was like…baffled and just stand there not able to say things. God…I really feel bad… Of all exs that parted me, she still the one I really feel greatly indebted and guilty… I hope things will be good for her…
Huhu… But not all things are bad. Finally, I can go to a decent gym where I can fulfill my goal which is to tone and shape back my body to its prime figure [hehehehehe]. Well I’ve been a bit of crazy for this thing since it was the only thing that gives me supreme satisfaction. Apart from cooking and eating luxuriously, this is the only thing that really got me going on. 4.50 per fee isn’t expensive for no time limit eh? Hahahaha! I’ve got my own customized equipment here at home which are my pails, my bandana, an iron bar and plenty of water as the weight bar. I hope next sem I can go back with high self-esteem and full of spirit. Who knows if I can get bonuses from this thing rite? [keeping my fingers crossed and a lil toungie twist behind all the serious faces].
For a peculiar reason, I’ve been thinking a lot since I came back and a lot of ideas came into this complicated mind of mine. But I’m holding it in before I get it into my next posts cause I really gotta make it clear and understandable for u guys. So I’ll leave u all with these things which is ‘Education that needs to be re-hauled’ and ‘Problematic nation’ and also ‘Pointers Isn’t Everything’.

Monday, May 2, 2011

I just want to go back and forget these bad times.

Like I said. I just wanna go back for the time being.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Biased Actions, Rotten Practices. [Part II]

I hate to post sumthing that was posted before. Sincerely I think, there's many room for improvement since everything I saw was these fakes smiles and shitty faces and craps bout making culture thingies. Start that by improving urself and automatically others will follow. U give marks based on ur preference and bias judgment. You are as rotten as ur craps u spout not so long ago. Duck mouth shithead!
And for some of the 'members' of mine, try put effort inside ur works and make the best of it since whatever tasks that we shared will determine our marks together. I got too nice and hold up all my frustation along. Next semester go and find partners that can give you commitment as good as urs.
I'm done doing things for others that do not share the same norm and values with me and certainly who are self-centered like ass****!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Loading the contents of this post. [Part II]







Seems the author runs out of ideas to put.

Come back again after a few days.

He'll be fine.

Monday, April 18, 2011

I'll Rawks On This Stage!

I got nuthing much to say for the coming exam. I feel nervous but I ain't gonna let it eat me. I won't backdown nor I'll back away. Heee....I'll rawks on the halls armed with my pens, pencils, calculators and of course, my resolve and determination!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Just a dream....

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (uh)
down that road (road)
Will she come back? (Uh)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream.

I was at the top and now its like I'm in the basement
Number 1 spot, Now she find her a replacement
I swear now I can't take it
Knowing somebody's got my baby

Now you ain't around, baby I can't think
I shoulda put it down, shoulda got that ring
Cuz I can still feel it in the air
See her pretty face, run my fingers through her hair

My love of my life, My shawty, my wife
She left me, Im tied.
Cuz I knew that it just ain't right

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (Yeah)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream.

When I be ridin' man I swear I see your face at every turn
Trying to get my usher on but I can't let it burn
And I just hope she know that she the only one I yearn for

More and more, I miss her, when will I learn?
Didn't give her all my love
I guess now I got my payback
Now i'm in the club thinking all about my baby
HEY, she was so easy to love
But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough
I'm going through it everytime that I'm alone
And now I'm wishin' wishin' she'd pick up the phone
But she made a decision that she wanted to move on
Cause I was wrong.

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (road)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream...

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinkin bout us (us)
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes, (Yeah)
it was only just a dream...

So I travel back (Uh)
Down that road (road)
Will she come back? (back)
No one knows
I realize (Yeah)
It was only just a dream...

Saturday, April 16, 2011

What comes 'here' will stay even when 'they' gone.

That's the way it have always been. Some things will stay forever even when the creators were long gone. Be it bad or sweet, it doesn't matter. Whatever came into this part of me may be forgotten for awhile, but those things will never be lost.

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Hardest Decision.

Sometimes in our life, we got to make some hard decisions where it hold significant value to ourselves. As what the title of this post have stated, it was the hardet decision I made this semester.
Of course, it cost me when I made that decision. It wasn't easy when I sit here in this room while staring at my phone, thinking bout it, whether I should or not, will it be understood or not, will it make things better or worse, and all sort of thoughts, considerations and things just made me sighed and in that hours of thoughts and reasoning, I decided.
And there it goes, the dreams and hopes were shattered.
There will be days when I have to steel my heart and hold back my tears. For the sake of something big, I made it.
Though I'm shattered by my decision, I'll put myself back again and rise upon my feet.
I just hope, all will be well.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Week Before The Ordeal.

Hi peeps. Whazzup? I've been posting short posts and lately my mind have been bugging me to say things as long as I could. But I've been waiting for the rite time as I'm looking at how things would go. See whether it turn out to be okay or not...

Frankly, since the Faculty's Dinner, I've been holding up things and bearing all the pain and misery secretly as there's nuthing to say or brag or to lament bout it. Honestly, I like to babble and rant bout things...but I've now I prefer to be silent and taking things into my heart and not showing it on the surface. Those who spoke with me probably wouldn't notice it even when we were chatting happily and discussing things.

Today I woke up with heavy heart since last night. I guess women was the bane for me cause I love them so much and can never had a day without thoughts of them. Douchy isn't it? Sometimes it was extreme to love someone until you're sick and became disorganized when you felt like you were useless to them. Man..I hate to be lonesome when I know I got someone. But thanks to this, I got knocked up to focus on the coming exam. I wouldn't want to repeat any paper again. I had enough. Now Imma leave this love things for awhile since I know, somebody needs her time alone and I don't want to add more to her trouble. Ain't I'm sweet and full of understanding?

Two days from now will be our presentation in front of some dudes and gals from the professional industry. I hope we'll managed to impress them with our business proposal and hopefully, it'll be accepted. Hehehe. Though it was late, but I must say that this proposal was made through tears, sweat and it costs us our friendship cause I know things won't be the same after this. There will be honeyed double edge greetings, there will be no-no and remorse after this all ends.

Hmm...I'm listening to songs that was forgotten so long ago rite now. Now it is Princess of Dangdut~~~>Amelina~~~>Bulan Cinta! Hahaha. I guess u guys don't expect me to listen and enjoy songs like this eh? Hehehe. I don't care what song it is or genre it is as long as I'm gonna be happy when I listen to it.

I already planned out what I'm gonna do within these periods of time. Whether it'll be okay or not, that will depend on Him. I just planned it and try to follow it. Anyway my heads is heavy now. Imma logout to slump on my bed cause every nite will be long. Mmmm..that's it for now.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Oh God...I'm still up!

Maybe at 3 I'll go to sleep. Wahahahahaha!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The only thing is...

'It's hard when you're missing somebody so much. You can't think much of anything else. I believe her and I hope she believed me too. The only thing is...'

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Somewhere over the rainbow.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
And the dreams that you've only of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly,
And the dreams that you've dare too dream really do come true.

Someday i'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melts like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
way up high
Oh why, oh why can't i?

Well, i see
Trees of green and red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And i think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

Well i see,
Skies of blues and, clouds of white,
And the brightness of day, i like the dark
And i think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying i... I love you.

I hear babies cry, i watch them grow
They'll learn much more than really know
And i think to myself
What a wonderful world.

Someday i'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
And the dreams that you dare to
Oh why, oh why can't i?

I believe that there's good things in every bad things and situations that we encountered... Keep our faith on and never stop believing.
Leave all the worries and anger behind.

Monday, April 4, 2011

The Value of Rm55.

[Kata2 personally dr Dr. Hj. Abd Kadir: Good job & Well done guys :)]

'Tahniah kepada semua exco-exco yang telah menyumbang tenaga, bertungkus lumus menjayakan majlis kita pada malam ini. Sesungguhnya kita telah menetapkan standard baru untuk exco akan datang, sehinggakan Rektor kita meminta backdrop kita untuk simpanan sendiri. Tepukan kepada diri sendiri kerana dapat memecahkan tembok yang dibina oleh suara-suara sumbang. Tahniah sekali lagi kepada semua!'

This is the value of Rm55 which I paid for the event.
Honestly, I felt I'm not qualified to say anything about our faculty's dinner event last nite.
I didn't do much of anything and I almost felt like it was a joke to stand around and go there and here without anything inside my head. I didn't wear the Heritage theme clothes cause I had none in my closet and surely I did feel like stupid for a moment when I stand there watching the crowd enjoying themselves.

The night goes with some problems but what's really important is that the event goes well and we earned the praise from Rektor. Although I didn't been much of a help, I hope that everyone will forgive me for that. I didn't go and eat my much expected share of the food for I'm willing to let others enjoy in expense of my rumbling stomach. I went down to Apple and bought a meal which I ate at 2am. I did got to enjoy a bit of whats left and thank God, I found that fountain of coffee which I got to admit, I crave the most. That alone satiated my hunger and calm me down.

Anyway, I'll get my revenge back next semester. I'll wait patiently. Haha.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Lonesome Nights.

Sometimes, there are nights where it feels so lonesome.

When that night comes, I'll feel like I was the only thing that left in the world.

When I feel that, my heart goes overwhelmed with thoughts and filled with this uneasy


God I hate it when I feel this.

And yeah, this night is one of those nights.


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Biased Actions, Rotten Practices.

Its a bit peculiar to put this post on my blog.
Why does a person who teach let cheating to happen got mad at me?
Why she is mad just because this day I didn't some to her test?
Why she got to refer me as a pig?
Is it because she really have no manner or whatsoever ethics?
Why she let others to do as they want and still gave them chance?
Or is it because she got that power to escape from her harsh comments?
She's just as human as much as I do.
So why not put it on my face rather than saying in a wall post?
I wonder...
Sometimes, I feel very depressed from this kind of situations.
We all has been accumulating stress for quite a few month.
Everybody got their own issues and please don't trample on others' feeling cause karma will get you back sooner or later.
I hope I won't be affected by her rotten attitude.
I still want to put on this 'Mr Nice Silent Guy' mask.
Don't force me to wear that 'Mr Angry' mask.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

The Rumbling Thunder Before The Storm.

Peeps. It's been awhile since I got the mood to type my mind into this page again.
Life has its ups and downs. I got myself over a load of stress.
Odd it is when things goes so chaoticly. I don't care much bout that.

I'm supressing my own feeling now with more effort and I hope, I won't burst it out.

Peeps. Take ur time and manage urself well. The storm is coming and already the rumbling thunders approach us.

And oh yeah..for the girl who occasional come n see this page, I'll tell u this.
There isn't a single day pass without a single thought of u.

I miss ya n hope ya miss me too.


Sunday, March 20, 2011

I need greens to live on!

RM17 to hold out for another week.

Guess meggy will be the best option.

Damn...lately I ran out of self-control.


Anyway its already Sunday.

Have fun peeps!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

A post at 4.07am.....

Hi peeps...
Its already 4.07am and I'm still wide awake...with this post in process...
I'm listening to Kris Dayanti's Mencintaimu and oh God....I just love this song..
For you readers and followers who never got to see the other side of my soul, this is me.. I guess I don't show much of myself to people that much and that earned me the title of the silent one of the class. I think I'm on par with some other dude and gals that believe of the 'Silence is gold' phrase. Haha! I don't mind much of that. Its just that sometime when my mood swings to the wrong direction, I may burst out refuting to those statements.
What I wanted to type isn't that. I got distracted again with this Guns n Roses' song. November Rain is still faaaar way. I guess I got winded up with these turmoils of feelings and thoughts.
I already recovered from the breakup but still I don't think I got past it 100%. I always have that trouble. I got this all sorts of fear and I hate it.
I'm missing much that my heart ache and I felt like all the joy in this world has been robbed from me. Now the long awaited Saturday and Sunday suddenly lost its meaning to me. God I miss her....
Oh shit! Here come Alicia Keys...If I ain't got u....Damn~~~its a superb song to amplify this feelings! Now the pain seems to be more intense.
I guess that what will happen when ur in love rite? I remember a person pasted this on the FB wall sometime ago referring to not making hasty decision to choose another person as the ultimatum while u urself are just an option to them. I was so grateful to have read that among hundreds of posts in that time.
That is one of the drive that lead me to send the breakup vow to the last gf I had. She lied to me, used me and I was (probably)among the options she have. So what to do rite?
Anyway past is past and I moved on. So now I'm having a complicated relationship with this one sweet girl that were so honest to me. Even what she told me sumtime hurts me, I ain't gonna hate her for that cause she just doing what i wanted her to do....being honest...I have that tendency to simplify things and so i developed a habit of saying truth and expecting truth from others also..even if it hurts me. That's why sumtimes I just can't help myself from respecting peoples that I trust and love. So yeah...I'm believing in her and never try to distrust her. She's one of my friends but she more than them to me. She's a special person...yeah...she will always be even if we weren't be able to be together..
And then come this Maroon 5 song..Never gonna leave this bed. Damn~~can I sing this song in this morning when I'm slumping on my bed? Really wish I could...
There are tons of things I've been thinking and worrying and trying to solve it.
But I guess I'll continue to worry it tomorrow.
I'm getting sleepy and my eyes is begging me to shut them and my body yearns for that sweet pillow and blankets to lay on...
So peeps, we'll meet again when I got my mood and ideas to post things again.
Imma go to bed with this Ne-yo in a million.
Mmmuahh! Gudnite and sweet dreams to y'all. Its 4.44am.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Responsibility and Maturity.

Two things that I think everybody should have.

Don't turn back on your promises.

Don't let others bear your the burden.

Understand and remember.

Responsibility over others is just as important as reponsibility over yourself.

Others care for u.

So think before you speak.

For thinking is the way to maturity.

So think about your own responsibilities.

Don't drag others if you want to fall alone.

We're striving for to get higher.

Not lower.


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

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Come back after a few days.

Author still haven't find his ideas to type on.


Sunday, February 20, 2011


Happy with this confused state of mind.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Different Views on the Men vs Boy.

I wanna laugh as hard as I can just a while ago. I posted sumthing that I read a few years back while I was reading some mags at Klang.
It sumthing about boys and mens and womens. Pretty hard to understand bout the meanings that were hidden between the lines back then but rite now, I think I got a firm grasp on what it meant.
I posted in FB saying..
'Yeah. They say men will always be boy. If that's so, why won't u take care of ur men? Boys wil run away when u don't give them attention. So beware. U might end up as the one left by these 'boys'.
Then a few minutes past by and here's a reply by some dude...
'man will stay, boy will left'.
'That's why we want Men..! Not boy..wuahahahahha XD'
'you will :)
Hehehe. I wanna laugh at this.
Of course every girl would want a man and not a boy! They ain't grown to be a woman yet. A woman in the other hand, when they matured they will search back the 'boy' inside their man.
I ain't tellin' lies. As far as what I can see, that's the norm I saw.
Okay back again at the equation.
A man of course will search for a woman. Yeah. Cannot deny that rite? But there will be no man who wouldn't have boys inside themselves even when they have gron into a man. Cannot remember where I read this, but yeah, Boys will always be boys. So a 'Man' itself ain't guaranteeing a succesful relationship.
So 'boys pretending to be a man' can shut the fuck up and suck upon their own dicks cause pretending to be a man will never get them the honor of a man.
They are the kind who wishes to be a man, long for the title but it ain't comin' out easy dude.
So read it carefully and [hopefully, u'll got your chance to be a man, since living under your parent's armpit will never get that for u] think before u type ur thoughts in it. For many greens, ur rite. But for the vets, ur wrong.

And yeah. For the girls, liking something that you ain't understand will only make u as a fool. No matter how how pretty you are or rich, u ain't gonna make people respect you for that. Sucka!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Troubled heart and raging emotions.

Hi. Long time no see people. I was hooked up with my study and all sorts of things that steal away my time. Its kinda hard when you cannot manage time and situations. Losing control over myself is the greatest weakness I've done right now.

A lot of things happened and boy I'm so stressed with everything to gamble.

Its kinda hard when someone who was supposed to be there for you didn't make it. My birthday was a fail epic. Valentine day was the worst. What more can I hope from a woman who I pledge myself to when she ignored me and didn't care for me? I was a fool to believe that gifts and calls and sms can strengthen our relationship. I think I did my part of the deal and sacrifice quite of things until last week.

Unappreciated and worthless. That what I felt. It damaged me not only on my study but my health too. Even if this relationship was only a few months old, I was treating it like it was going to be forever. Turn out to be like it was just a fleeting dream. I've been giving my devotion to nothing.

I cannot stand it when I feel like I was betrayed. What more when someone who I trust and love so much? That would break me into pieces.

I called her last night with rage and sadness inside my heart. Our conversation didn't end good. But there's something more... I didn't tell her what has happened during these times..

I got my feelings and attention to someone else...

She came when I was nearing my limits... I could say she saved me from falling rock bottom... then she gave me strength and nurture me back to my feet...
Then the next thing I knew, I was all over her...
I kept thinking of her... I can't resist myself from texting her, calling her....
I felt like the void inside me which was done by my woman was filled by her.
My day was lightened by her. My night now warmed by her.

But somehow I felt like I'm cheating on my woman....though I doubt that I her 'Man' anymore... This emotions is killing me inside..
I can't deny that I'm losing my feelings to my woman but I also cannot deny how I really feel pain whenever I see her name, her face, her voice...

I thinking of breaking her up...but I cannot do that..I'm tied with my promise to her.....
When I promised to someone...I couldn't go against the promise...
That is why this affair is killing me inside....

Its hard to love two women at the same time right....

Saturday, January 1, 2011

GoodBye 2010 and Welcome 2011

Hey! Howdy? Happy New Year to you all! Its 1st of Jan and hopefully all of you have the best of 2010 and May you all will receive the best of 2011. This New Year marks new targets to achieve and hurdles to overcome. I ain’t gonna back down to that and surely I’ll do my best for it.
2010 has been the year that is really taught me well of not underestimating people and the importance of having good team in everything that I do. I failed to make a good use of the time I had and I proudly confessed that I got what I deserved. It wasn’t good but it was a good reminder for my worn out spirit. Luckily this worn out spirit was renewed anew and new responsibilities emerged with it. So I think this will be the addition of my reasons to fight on. I’ll have to steel my heart and strengthen my resolve along with my determination.
So I wish you all who read this post will have t2010he heart and guts to do what you have to do. Life is short and time will always flies away. Don’t let it goes to waste.