A post at 4.07am.....

Hi peeps...
Its already 4.07am and I'm still wide awake...with this post in process...
I'm listening to Kris Dayanti's Mencintaimu and oh God....I just love this song..
For you readers and followers who never got to see the other side of my soul, this is me.. I guess I don't show much of myself to people that much and that earned me the title of the silent one of the class. I think I'm on par with some other dude and gals that believe of the 'Silence is gold' phrase. Haha! I don't mind much of that. Its just that sometime when my mood swings to the wrong direction, I may burst out refuting to those statements.
Damn~~~
What I wanted to type isn't that. I got distracted again with this Guns n Roses' song. November Rain is still faaaar way. I guess I got winded up with these turmoils of feelings and thoughts.
I already recovered from the breakup but still I don't think I got past it 100%. I always have that trouble. I got this all sorts of fear and I hate it.
I'm missing someone...so much that my heart ache and I felt like all the joy in this world has been robbed from me. Now the long awaited Saturday and Sunday suddenly lost its meaning to me. God I miss her....
Oh shit! Here come Alicia Keys...If I ain't got u....Damn~~~its a superb song to amplify this feelings! Now the pain seems to be more intense.
I guess that what will happen when ur in love rite? I remember a person pasted this on the FB wall sometime ago referring to not making hasty decision to choose another person as the ultimatum while u urself are just an option to them. I was so grateful to have read that among hundreds of posts in that time.
That is one of the drive that lead me to send the breakup vow to the last gf I had. She lied to me, used me and I was (probably)among the options she have. So what to do rite?
Anyway past is past and I moved on. So now I'm having a complicated relationship with this one sweet girl that were so honest to me. Even what she told me sumtime hurts me, I ain't gonna hate her for that cause she just doing what i wanted her to do....being honest...I have that tendency to simplify things and so i developed a habit of saying truth and expecting truth from others also..even if it hurts me. That's why sumtimes I just can't help myself from respecting peoples that I trust and love. So yeah...I'm believing in her and never try to distrust her. She's one of my friends but she more than them to me. She's a special person...yeah...she will always be even if we weren't be able to be together..
And then come this Maroon 5 song..Never gonna leave this bed. Damn~~can I sing this song in this morning when I'm slumping on my bed? Really wish I could...
There are tons of things I've been thinking and worrying and trying to solve it.
But I guess I'll continue to worry it tomorrow.
I'm getting sleepy and my eyes is begging me to shut them and my body yearns for that sweet pillow and blankets to lay on...
So peeps, we'll meet again when I got my mood and ideas to post things again.
Imma go to bed with this Ne-yo song...one in a million.
Mmmuahh! Gudnite and sweet dreams to y'all. Its 4.44am.